


Eyes Closed

by z_Bohemian_Butterfly_z



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29416656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/z_Bohemian_Butterfly_z/pseuds/z_Bohemian_Butterfly_z
Summary: A/N: This story takes place during New Order Part 2 right after Sam is returned to SG1 from the replicators/Fifth. Also, for the sake of this story, Pete Shanahan does not exist. Because after all, it’s my story. Hope you enjoy!
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16
Collections: Stargate Winter Fic Exchange 2020-21





	Eyes Closed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [starrybouquet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrybouquet/gifts).



> A/N: This story takes place during New Order Part 2 right after Sam is returned to SG1 from the replicators/Fifth. Also, for the sake of this story, Pete Shanahan does not exist. Because after all, it’s my story. Hope you enjoy!

Eyes Closed

Sam had just been returned to SG1 and she didn’t remember anyone or anything from her past.

One thing she did know though was that she felt safe with Jack.

So, he took her through the Stargate with him and back to Earth.

While her apparent amnesia was being evaluated by doctors through various brain scans, Jack was right outside the room talking with Dr. Elizabeth Weir.

“She doesn’t even know who you are,” countered Dr. Weir.

“No, she doesn’t, but while we were still on that planet, she told me that she felt safe with me. Now, we don’t know if the replicators will come back to Earth and try to take her again or what. The fact that she feels safe with me has got to mean something,” argued Jack.

“Alright, you may take her off base pending the results of her brain scans. If it’s determined that she could be a threat to herself or others, then it’s a no go,” Weir said matter of factly.

“I can live with that. If the brain scans are negative or inconclusive though, you’ve got to let me take Sam to her house. Maybe this amnesia is just temporary and something there might jog her memory,” explained Jack.

“Pending the results of Major Carter’s brain scans, you have a tentative go,” Weir told Jack.

“Alright. I better get back in there, but would you mind sending one of the female MP’s down to the locker room to retrieve her clothes and her personal belongings for me?” asked Jack.

“Sure. I’ll be back to check on Major Carter in a little bit and talk with her doctors about her condition,” said Dr. Weir before walking away from the infirmary and towards the gate room.

“Okay. Thanks,” said Jack before heading into the infirmary to see how Sam was doing.

“Hey,” said Jack.

“Hello, Colonel O’Neill,” said Sam from her infirmary bed.

“No need for formalities right now. Please, call me Jack,” said Jack.

“Okay, Jack,” said Sam.

“So, what did the docs say?” asked Jack.

“They didn’t. I think they were waiting for you to come back in from talking to that woman. Who is she, by the way? She seems important,” said Sam.

“That’s just Dr. Weir. She’s the head of Stargate Command. At least for now,” Jack explained to Sam.

“What do you mean?” asked Sam.

“Stargate Command is where we work. It’s a top secret military operation that the public is unaware of. So, if you’re out in public, please don’t mention anything about it,” said Jack.

“Okay,” said Sam.

Just then the doctors cleared their throats to announce themselves and came into the room.

“What’s the gist of it? Preferably in English so we both can understand what you’re talking about,” said Jack.

“Well, there was nothing conclusive in Major Carter’s brain scans to give us an idea of how her amnesia was brought on,” began the first doctor.

“Also, there were no abnormalities or apparent changes made to her brain during her time with the Replicators,” said the second doctor.

“What are the Replicators?” asked Sam.

“Bad space guys. Usually appear in the form of little gray metal links connected together to form either an object or a person. They’re capable of destroying everything from computer systems to galaxies to entire planets. They’re the people who kidnapped and eventually returned you to us,” clarified Jack.

“Okay,” replied Sam.

“What about her mental state?” asked Dr. Weir as she entered Sam’s room.

“We found her to be in optimum health both physically and mentally. She isn’t a danger to herself or others. At least at this time,” answered the first doctor.

“Colonel O’ Neill, you officially have a go,” Dr. Weir told him before she left the room and encouraged the female MP to step inside with Sam’s belongings from her locker.

“Here you go, ma’am,” said the MP as she handed Sam a box.

“What’s all this?” asked Sam.

“Your belongings from your locker. Clothes, shoes, some personal effects, and the keys to your house,” said Jack.

“Can I go home? Wherever home is,” said Sam.

“Under one condition. Weir asked that I stay with you until you get your memory back. Some BS about you being a liability to the program or whatever. I wouldn’t read too much into it. She’s just trying to cover her own ass,” said Jack.

“Okay. Do I have a guest room?” asked Sam.

“Not exactly. You planned to have one in your office for when your dad or brother came to visit, but last time I was at your place, it was still a mess and in need of some reorganizing,” Jack told her.

“Where will you sleep then? You can’t sleep with me. I hardly know you,” said Sam.

“I’ll take the couch. It’ll be fine,” said Jack.

“Okay. Can we go? All of these people staring at me is making me nervous,” Sam whispered to Jack.

“Sure. I’ll get all these people out of here and close the curtain so you can change. Meet me right outside the door?” asked Jack.

“Okay. See you in a few minutes,” said Sam as she closed the curtain around her.

“Okay, people, out! Major Carter needs to change and could use a little privacy,” said Jack as he ushered everyone else out of the room, including himself.

A few minutes later, Sam came out of the room fully dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and carrying the box of belongings the MP had given her.

“Ready,” Sam told Jack, who was standing outside the door just like he’d promised.

“Okay. I’ll lead the way,” said Jack as Sam followed him down the hallway, over to the elevator, and up to the surface.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Once they got to Sam’s house, Jack directed her as to which key to use and she opened the door and let them into her house.

Once Jack shut and locked the door, he dropped his go bag next to the couch before he nervously asked, “What would you like to do, first? We can eat first and watch some TV or read a book or we can…yeah, that’s about it for now.”

“They didn’t let me take a shower at the SGC. Would you mind if I showered before we eat?” asked Sam.

“Of course. You don’t need my permission. It’s your house, after all,” said Jack.

“Thanks, Jack. Can you direct me to where the bathroom is?”

The last doorway on your right is your room. Your clothes are in the dresser drawers. You might have to search a bit to find whatever you’re looking for, but it’s all in there except your jackets, which are in the coat closet by the door along with your shoes,” explained Jack.

“And the bathroom’s attached?” asked Sam.

“Yeah. You should have everything you need in there,” Jack told her helpfully.

“Thanks, again,” said Sam before she made her way down the hallway and into her bedroom.

As Sam scanned the drawers for what she’d need, she heard the clanging of pots and pans in the kitchen signaling Jack was preparing them some food.

After grabbing underwear, navy blue sweatpants, a gray air force t-shirt, and some socks, Sam took her stuff into the bathroom and shut the door.

Twenty minutes later, Sam emerged from her room and appeared in the kitchen, where she found Jack with his back to her preparing something.

She stood there for a moment just watching him stir this and add that into a pan before she cleared her throat and said, “Something smells good.”

“Spaghetti,” announced Jack.

“Yum,” replied Sam.

“So, you remember liking spaghetti?” asked Jack.

“I guess so. Although just about anything sounds good right now,” said Sam.

“Dinner should be ready in a few minutes. Can I interest you in a beer? You’ve got a twelve pack of Guinness in the fridge,” Jack pointed out.

“I don’t remember if I like beer or not. Can I try some of yours before I commit to drinking a whole one?” asked Sam.

“Sure,” said Jack as he grabbed a glass and poured a little bit of his beer into it before offering it to her.

Sam tipped the glass towards her mouth and took a swig of it before replying, “Mmhmm.”

“Like it?” asked Jack.

“Yeah, I do,” replied Sam before she downed the rest.

“Here then,” said Jack as he grabbed another Guinness out of the fridge and popped the top off of the bottle before handing it to Sam.

Meanwhile, Jack sipped on his beer and drained the pasta in the strainer over the sink before putting it back into the empty pot and pouring the sauce on top of it.

As he stirred everything together, Jack announced, “Bon appétit.”

“Thanks,” replied Sam as she got up and headed towards the stove.

“Where are the bowls?” asked Sam.

“The upper cabinet to your right,” Jack told her.

“Right,” responded Sam as she opened the cabinet and found the bowls.

She grabbed two bowls out of the cupboard while Jack grabbed them each a fork from one of the drawers.

“Let’s trade a bowl for a fork,” suggested Jack.

“Here,” said Sam as she set one of the bowls on the counter next to Jack and then grabbed a fork from his outstretched hand.

“Thanks,” said Jack as he put the remaining fork in his bowl and watched Sam scoop a large helping of pasta into her bowl.

Jack got a healthy portion of spaghetti as well before grabbing another beer from the fridge and sitting down at the dining room table across from Sam.

They ate in mostly companionable silence with Sam occasionally commenting on how good the food was.

Once they were done eating, Jack took the bowls to the sink before Sam offered, “I’ll take care of that. After all, you did cook our meal.”

“Are you sure?” asked Jack.

“I’ve got amnesia, Jack. I didn’t lose all of my brain cells. I think I can manage the dishes,” joked Sam.

Jack smiled and looked at her stupefied for a moment before Sam asked, “What?”

“Nothing. You just sounded like yourself for a minute. That’s all,” said Jack.

“That’s a good sign, right?” asked Sam.

“Yeah,” replied Jack as he managed a sad sorta smile before heading into the living room to find something to watch on TV.

Meanwhile, after Sam washed, dried, and put away the dishes, she came into the living room and began curiously scanning the photographs strewn throughout the room.

“Who are these people standing here with me?” Sam asked him.

“That’s Janet and her daughter Cassie. You and Janet, being two of the few women working at the SGC, were fast friends. You, me, Teal’c, and Daniel rescued Cassie from one of the planets we visited. She was orphaned there and when we brought her back, Janet ended up adopting her and raising her as her own,” explained Jack.

“Were? As in past tense? Did we have a falling out or something?” asked Sam curiously.

“No. Janet died in the line of duty almost a year ago while providing medical treatment to fellow SGC personnel,” replied Jack, still in a state of disbelief over how the whole thing had gone down.

“What happened?” asked Sam.

“There was an ambush and she was apparently in the line of fire. Took multiple staff blasts to her torso. She didn’t have a chance,” continued Jack somberly.

“What happened to Cassie?” asked Sam.

“Well, after Janet died, she went to go live in Arizona with Janet’s elderly mother. Kid had to grow up fast and do most of the work around the house with her grandmother being so old, but she didn’t mind. Said she was doing it for Janet. That that’s what she would’ve wanted her to do. Still lives there and now goes to community college part time. She’s a biology major and wants to become a doctor, just like Janet was,” elaborated Jack.

“Were we close? Me and Cassie? We look close in this photo,” observed Sam.

“Very. Two peas in a pod the two of you. Loved playing chess together,” answered Jack.

“What about this older man standing with me in this photo?” asked Sam as she pointed to Jacob.

“That’s your dad, Jacob. Great guy. He goes on quite a few missions with us actually,” commented Jack.

“So, he’s military too?” asked Sam.

“He used to be. Now, he’s part of the Tok’ra. It’s basically an alien offshoot,” clarified Jack.

“So, he’s an alien?” asked Sam.

“Not exactly. The Tok’ra carry what’s called a symbiote. They survive because of the symbiote inside them. In your dad’s case, he had cancer really bad and the symbiote healed him. It’s not a permanent solution, but it’s been working pretty good up until this point,” explained Jack.

“So, he’d die without this symbiote?” asked Sam.

“Yeah,” replied Jack.

“Well, I’m pretty tired. I think I’m gonna turn in for the night,” announced Sam.

“Alright. I’ll be out here if you need anything or you have any more questions,” offered Jack.

“Okay. Thanks, Jack. Goodnight,” said Sam.

“Goodnight, Sam,” replied Jack.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
It was around 2am now.

Jack had fallen asleep with the TV on a few hours prior, when all of a sudden, he heard a bloodcurdling scream coming from Sam’s bedroom.

He quickly sprang up from the couch and ran into Sam’s room, flicked on the light, and he immediately went straight to her.

“What? What is it?” asked Jack as he involuntarily held Sam in his arms as she began crying.

He continued holding her in his arms and rocked her back and forth on the bed for a few minutes before he pulled back once she’d calmed down a bit and asked, “What happened? Why were you screaming?”

“At first, I thought it was a nightmare, but then I realized it was a memory because it was just like you said. Staff blasts to the torso. She was completely obliterated out in the field. How could that happen?” asked Sam, referring to Janet, as she closed her eyes and continued crying.

“There was nothing we could do to stop that attack, Sam. Everyone was on watch that was supposed to be there. It was a really terrible ambush, that’s all,” said Jack as he grabbed her hand and held it in both of his.

“She was my best friend and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to protect her,” muttered Sam powerlessly as she cried into Jack’s shoulder.

“Just let it out. It’s hard enough remembering it once. I can’t imagine what reliving it twice feels like,” said Jack understandingly.

Sam continued crying for a few more minutes before she lifted her head from Jack’s shoulder and began swiping at her tears.

“You okay?” asked Jack.

“I will be. Thanks,” said Sam.

“Anytime. Do you think you’ll be able to go back to sleep after all that?” asked Jack.

“Maybe,” replied Sam unsurely.

“Do you want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?” Jack asked her.

“That might help,” said Sam.

“Okay. Just lay back,” directed Jack as he cupped Sam’s cheek gently until her head hit the pillow.

Jack then made a motion of going to sweep Sam’s hair out of her eyes before he stopped himself.

“No. It’s okay. There’s something about your touch that I find comforting. Where did you learn to do this?” asked Sam as she grabbed his hand and put it back on her forehead.

“I had a son. Charlie,” began Jack as a happy image of Charlie came to his mind and he smiled before brushing Sam’s hair out of her face.

“Had? What happened to him?” asked Sam curiously.

“He died. A long time ago. It still feels like yesterday though. Don’t think I’ll ever quite shake that feeling,” said Jack somberly.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did he die?” asked Sam.

“He got hold of my service weapon and it went off. Killed him instantly,” explained Jack.

All of a sudden, Sam sat up and pulled Jack into her arms as she closed her eyes and said, “Oh no! I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. That must be so painful for you. Even after all these years.”

“It is, but it does good to talk about it. That’s actually something you’ve taught me over the years,” admitted Jack.

“Me? But how?” asked Sam.

“Well, there have been many nights where we would sit on my back porch with a beer in our hands and have really long talks. About life mostly,” said Jack.

“What would we talk about?” asked Sam inquisitively. 

“Sometimes Charlie, sometimes about your mom, other times just decompressing after missions,” said Jack.

“Did my mom die too?” asked Sam.

“Yeah. When you were a teenager. For years after, your dad and you had a strained relationship, but once he became part of the Tok’ra, you two got really close. It’s done you good, I can see it,” said Jack as he cupped her cheek.

“Sounds like you and I were pretty close too if we shared all of those deep secrets,” observed Sam.

“Impossibly so,” replied Jack.

“What do you mean?” asked Sam.

“Nevermind. It’s better that you just forget all of that. Just go to sleep,” said Jack.

Sam gave him a wary look before she acquiesced and let it go. Maybe she’d remember it on her own over time.

About ten minutes later, Sam fell asleep in her bed and Jack brushed the hair out of her face again before turning the light off and returning to the couch.

As he was laying there, knowing sleep was going to elude him tonight, he thought about Sam and all they’d been through together. From missions to more personal matters and everything in between.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The next morning found Sam in the kitchen making breakfast for her and Jack.

She may not remember much about her past, but for some reason she remembered how to make coffee, eggs, and toast.

It must be something she did often because she was pretty good at it if she did say so herself.

An unruly haired and crumpled clothed Jack came stumbling into the kitchen when he smelled the food.

“You made breakfast?” asked Jack surprisingly.

“Yeah. I may not remember everything else, but for some reason I remembered how to make coffee, eggs, and toast,” answered Sam.

“Maybe that’s a sign your memory’s starting to come back a bit if you’re remembering everyday things like that,” replied Jack encouragingly.

“Yeah. Maybe,” replied Sam.

“Do you need help with anything else?” asked Jack.

“No. I think I’ve got it under control. You can grab some coffee and have a seat though,” directed Sam.

“Okay,” replied Jack as he grabbed two mugs out of the cabinet and poured each of them a cup of coffee before offering one to Sam.

“Thanks,” replied Sam as she took the mug in her hand as she stirred around the scrambled eggs in the pan with the spatula in her other hand.

“No problem,” said Jack as he took a seat at the dining table with his mug of coffee.

“So, what are we doing today?” asked Sam.

“Well, Weir gave us a week off to see if your memory comes back by then. So, we can do whatever you want,” said Jack.

“Alright,” said Sam as she distributed the finished eggs onto their plates, which already had toast on it.

Sam sat down and they ate in a comfortable silence for a while before Sam suggested, “How about a picnic for lunch?”

“That sounds good. Maybe we could go to the zoo near the park afterwards. You do remember what a zoo is, right?” asked Jack.

“The place with all the animals of the wild,” said Sam.

“How is it that you remember things like that and making eggs, but have no memory of most events?” asked Jack curiously.

“I’m not sure. I wish I remembered more. Especially about you,” replied Sam.

“Why? What makes me so special?” asked Jack as he smiled at Sam.

“Well, judging from the way you immediately stepped in to take care of me after my amnesia, it seems like we were close. Now, I know you tried to dodge my questions last night, but I won’t let you dodge me again,” said Sam.

“Sam, it’s complicated,” began Jack.

“Try me,” challenged Sam.

“There were a lot of feelings between us in the past. Feelings that extended beyond those of friendship,” continued Jack.

“So, what happened?” asked Sam curiously.

“Well, that’s where the complicated part comes in. It’s against regulations for us to be together,” explained Jack.

“So, we never acted on our feelings?” asked Sam.

“No. The only way we knew how the other felt was because of a piece of Tok’ra technology that told us and everyone else when we were lying,” said Jack.

“So, everyone knows?” asked Sam.

“No. We were able to keep it mostly a secret. The only other people who knew were Janet, Teal’c, and a Tok’ra named Anise and neither of them would have any need to reveal that sort of intimate detail to anyone,” answered Jack.

“So, how come we decided to never act on our feelings if we cared so much about each other?” asked Sam quizzically.

“We both agreed that with both of our esteemed careers on the line and the weight of the world on our shoulders that it was best to bury those feelings. That it couldn’t and shouldn’t affect the work we were doing with the Stargate program,” finished Jack.

“Oh,” replied Sam sadly.

“So, you see why it’s complicated, right?” Jack asked her.

“Yeah. What if we didn’t work together though?” Sam posed to him.

“But we do work together, Sam,” answered Jack.

“But what if after my memory comes back, I decide I don’t wanna leave it in the room anymore?” asked Sam.

“What did you say?” asked Jack, doing a double take.

“I said, what if I decide I don’t wanna leave it in the room anymore?” Sam repeated.

“Do you realize what you just said?” asked Jack.

“No. Should I?” asked Sam a bit confused as to where he was going with this.

“You talked about leaving it in the room when we were discussing our feelings after the results of the Tok’ra device. I never mentioned that part,” said Jack.

“Now that you point that out, I can remember something about having something connected to my head and taking a lie detector test of sorts about my feelings for you. Then, afterwards, I can see us talking by the door. That’s all I remember though,” said Sam.

“Maybe you remember more than you realize,” Jack pointed out.

“Maybe. Things are still a little fuzzy though,” said Sam.

“Maybe you’ll remember more later. Let’s just give it time,” suggested Jack patiently.

“Yeah. How about we just try and have a nice day and not focus too much on amnesia and feelings and everything else?” proposed Sam.

“Sure. Let’s get packing for our picnic and head over to the park. We can talk and people watch for a while, have lunch, and then go to the zoo afterwards,” said Jack.

“Sounds good to me. I think I have a picnic basket in my office from when I used to take Cassie on them when she was little,” said Sam as she walked down the hallway.

Jack made a mental note that Sam was remembering more and more, but didn’t mention it to her and decided to just let it and the day play out as he followed her down the hallway in search of the picnic basket.

As it turns out, they not only found the picnic basket, but also a small cooler for drinks and more perishable items like cheese.

Sam ended up packing the picnic basket and cooler while Jack went in search of some extra blankets.

Once they gathered all the supplies, they hopped into Jack’s Ford F-150 and he drove them to a nearby park where the zoo was also housed.

Jack set up the blankets in a shady spot under a tree while Sam grabbed the cooler and picnic basket.

Once Jack got the blankets all set up, Sam set the basket and cooler in the middle before sitting down across from Jack, who was lying on his side.

She took a moment to stare and notice how happy he looked just laying there before she tore her eyes away when Jack peeked inside the cooler and grabbed a beer and offered Sam one as well.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
They were lying across from each other sipping on their beers for a while and were just people watching before Jack asked a couple hours later, “Hey, you hungry? Because I’m starved.”

“I could eat,” replied Sam as she smiled at Jack’s easy going demeanor.

“What do we have in here?” Jack asked rhetorically as he peeked inside the picnic basket.

Jack pulled out crackers, some turkey sandwiches, and some ding dongs.

As he held the ding dongs in his hand he was caught up in a memory of Charlie begging for ding dongs after dinner one night.

“Hey. Where did you go just now? You looked both sad and happy at the same time if that’s possible,” commented Sam.

“You mean you don’t remember?” asked Jack.

“Remember what?” asked Sam confusedly.

“Ding dongs were Charlie’s favorite dessert. He’d beg for them every night after dinner,” said Jack.

“Oh. That’s why you looked both happy and sad. I’m sorry,” apologized Sam as she closed her eyes in shame.

“Don’t apologize. It’s a good memory actually. Does my mind good to remember more of those,” said Jack.

“Okay. I honestly didn’t remember, Jack. They were just in the pantry and I grabbed them. I must’ve gotten them for when you come over, because I don’t remember ever having one,” explained Sam.

“Oh, you like them alright. You’re more partial to blue Jell-O though. Or any kind of Jell-O really,” said Jack.

“Right,” said Sam making a mental note to remember to make some soon because it sounded delicious.

Meanwhile, Jack pulled out a couple small salads and the cheese out of the cooler along with a couple more beers and handed one of the salads and a beer to Sam.

Sam dished out the turkey sandwiches and set the crackers in the middle of the blanket between them as they each began eating.

The sat in contented silence as they ate their salads and sandwiches, Sam occasionally stealing glances at Jack from across the blanket.

Jack meanwhile was doing much the same thing, just a bit more covertly.

Once they got to the ding dongs, they both opened their chocolaty snacks and Sam held hers up as she said, “To Charlie and his love of ding dongs.”

“Cheers,” said Jack as he smiled at Sam and touched their uneaten ding dongs together.

As they washed their chocolaty snacks down with their Guiness, Jack began gathering their trash and disposing of it in a nearby trash can. 

Once Jack was done with that task, he decided to lie down across the blanket.

Sam personally couldn’t help staring at him, especially at his hands and arms.

How nice would it be to hold those hands in public or even better have his hands and arms wrapped around her body in private?

As Sam continued her musings, Jack looked at her and could tell her mind was somewhere else.

“Earth to Sam,” he said a few minutes later, after letting himself indulge in her smile during that time.

“What?” asked Sam as she looked up at Jack.

“You looked far away there for a moment. Anything you’d like to share with the club?” asked Jack.

“No. Are you ready to put this stuff in the truck and go to the zoo?” Sam asked in an effort to change the subject.

“Sure. Let’s go,” said Jack as he stared at Sam strangely for a moment, wondering what was really going on in that head of hers.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Once they got to the zoo and Jack paid for their admission, they began exploring the different animals and exhibits the zoo had to offer.

Once they arrived at the arctic exhibits with the polar bears and penguins, Sam felt a chill run through her body, which sparked something in her.

She sat down on a nearby bench as flashes of memories began playing in her head.

First, of course, was being stuck in Antarctica with Jack in an ice cave. She thought of them holding each other close and him joking about his sidearm.

Next, was being on that metal table on that Go’auld ship as he found her in just a blanket and how her cheeks had flushed when she realized her state of undress and how kind he was with finding her clothes instead of being like a typical male and ogling her.

After that, was the many adventures they’d gone on together through the Stargate and looking up at the stars on various planets through a telescope or literally being in another galaxy altogether, watching each other’s backs both literally and figuratively.

Finally, for the grand finale, was the scene of them replaying in her head of them being on either side of a force field, separated from one another, and that image just about killed her.

As Jack noticed her crying, he crouched down to her level and put his hands on her shoulders, he asked desperately, “Sam, what is it? Is it another memory?”

“More like a whole lot of memories,” replied Sam as she closed her eyes again and continued crying.

“What were they about? You can tell me,” Jack encouraged her.

“I remembered us being in Antarctica and you joking about your sidearm and then being naked on that Go’auld ship and how much of a gentleman you were trying to find me clothes. I also remembered just a bunch of mission memories and us looking up at the stars on various planets we visited. Then…” Sam trailed off.

“You remembered the moment we were on either side of that force field, didn’t you?” asked Jack, hazarding a guess as to what moment had made her cry.

“Yeah,” replied Sam as her eyes closed and she began crying again, Jack immediately taking her in his arms.

“You know, it’s painful for me too. Thinking about those things,” began Jack before Sam lifted her head from his shoulder.

“Really?” asked Sam hopefully.

“Yeah,” replied Jack as he tried his best to remain stoic and failed.

“How do you deal with it?” asked Sam.

“I probably drink more than I should and I’m just thankful for every day I get to spend with you, even if it’s not the way I imagined it in my head,” confessed Jack.

“How do I deal with it? Because I’m not sure I can bear this pain in my chest right now,” admitted Sam.

“You usually throw yourself into work. When you’re not doing that, you’re usually trying to wrap yourself up in the lives of your family or friends,” answered Jack.

“Does it help take the pain away?” asked Sam.

“For me, a little, but not completely. I still think about it and you every night when I go to bed. Doesn’t matter how much I drink, it still doesn’t kill the pain,” said Jack.

“Judging from the way I feel, I don’t think whatever I was doing was working either,” said Sam.

“Do you wanna get outta here?” asked Jack as he looked Sam in the eye.

“Yeah,” replied Sam.

“Okay, let’s go,” said Jack as he took Sam’s hand in his and helped her up as they left the Antarctic exhibit and the zoo.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Once they got back to Sam’s house, Sam immediately went to her room and shut the door.

Jack figured she needed some alone time after the flood of memories that had just hit her at the zoo.

So, he headed out back onto her small deck with a Guinness and sat in one of the patio chairs for awhile and tried not to imagine what was going through her head at that very moment.

Mostly because similar thoughts were going through his head as well.

Why did they ever decide to keep it in the room?

Why did their jobs have to dictate their relationship?

Questions and doubts like these continued floating around his head for the next couple of hours until Sam’s cell phone could be heard ringing in the kitchen.

As Jack got up to see who was calling, he saw Dr. Elizabeth Weir’s name on the screen.

He debated whether to answer it or not, but in the end he was curious as to why she’d be calling Sam’s phone instead of his and answered it.

“Hello?” greeted Jack.

“Colonel O’Neill. I was expecting to talk to Major Carter. Is she there?” asked Weir.

“She is, but she’s resting right now. What can I do for you?” asked Jack.

“Please just have her call me back the second she wakes up. It’s of utmost importance,” said Weir.

“It always is,” mumbled Jack.

“Excuse me? Are you drunk?” asked Weir.

“I’m off duty for the next week. So, I don’t see why that’s any of your concern,” replied Jack.

“You’re right. My apologies. Can you just please have her call me back whenever she wakes up?” asked Dr. Weir.

“Sure,” replied Jack before closing the phone, effectively hanging up on Weir.

Jack went to grab another beer out of the fridge and popped the top off and into the trash can before heading back out to the deck to look up at the sky.

The sun would be setting soon and then the stars would be out.

God, why did something as simple as stargazing have to drive him into such sadness.

Looking at the stars with Sam on various planets should make him happy, but right now it just wasn’t enough.

He took another swig of his beer as he got lost in his thoughts for a while.

It wasn’t until there was a clearing of a throat behind Jack sometime later that he was pulled out of his reverie.

“Hey,” said Jack, a tinge of melancholy in his voice.

“Hey,” replied Sam.

Right when Sam was about to say something else, her cell phone rang on the counter in the kitchen.

“It’s probably Weir again. She wants to talk to you. I told her I’d let you know whenever you came out of your room, but she was going on about it being of utmost importance,” explained Jack as he rolled his eyes.

“I’ll be right back, then. This conversation isn’t over,” Sam told him as she headed into the kitchen to answer Dr. Weir’s call.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
About twenty minutes later, Sam came back out onto the deck with a huge smile on her face.

“What are you so happy about?” asked Jack gruffly before he took another swig of his beer.

“That was the President. He offered me a job,” answered Sam.

“Congratulations,” said Jack as he stood up and mock bowed to her.

“Don’t you wanna hear what the job is?” asked Sam.

“Sure,” replied Jack.

“Stargate Liaison to the President,” Sam told him excitedly.

“Wow! That’s certainly an honor. Doesn’t really change our current predicament though, does it?” asked Jack sadly before taking yet another drink of his beer.

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Jack. It’s a civilian position. They just created it and they’re offering it to me. Do you know what this could mean for us?” asked Sam excitedly.

“I’m beginning to,” said Jack, not wanting to get his hopes up too much just yet.

“Come on! This means we can be together! No more hiding feelings or longing glances. We’re free to be together out in the open!” exclaimed Sam.

“Is that what you want?” asked Jack.

“Of course that’s what I want,” replied Sam as she stared at Jack confusedly.

“I need to hear you say it or it won’t feel real,” said Jack, still in disbelief.

“It’s real! It was real before I ever got that phone call. My mind was already made up when I came out of my room. I’m saying that I wanna be with you Jack O’Neill and only you. Forever and always and out in the open for everyone else to see. Is that what you wanted to hear?” asked Sam as she smiled a beaming smile at him.

“Yep,” replied Jack as his mouth broke out into the biggest, almost childlike smile.

Jack was the first one to make a move and pulled Sam closer to him with both arms, his hands resting comfortably on her lower back.

Next, Sam moved her face closer to Jack’s before saying, “I can’t believe this is really happening. I’ve only just gotten my memories of you back, but it feels like an eternity since I’ve wanted this,” said Sam.

“Believe it, babe,” replied Jack as he looked Sam in the eyes before closing the distance and his eyes and kissing her.

“Babe. I like the sound of that,” Sam marveled at what had just happened once they broke apart for air.

“Good, because I’m never gonna stop loving you or calling you that from now on,” said Jack.

“Always,” said Sam, suddenly remembering her time stuck aboard the abandoned ship.

“Always,” replied Jack as he pulled Sam in for another searing kiss.


End file.
